This photo perfectly captures Syrahav's long eyelashes.
I took this photo today. After I uploaded it, it was so cute it motivated me to make a post.
As you may have noticed, our posts have been very few. This reflects how crazy busy we have been with life. The past few weeks Jake was working overtime while I finished up finals, had my wisdom tooth removed during my only week off, and started clinic. With the overtime hours in addition to finals, a tooth removal, and clinic, we’ve been exhausted. Thankfully, Jake’s overtime hours are done. Although we were very thankful that Jake was able to work overtime because it helped to pay for my wisdom tooth removal (which was pricey). We needed the money. But we are glad to have that out of our schedule now.
And yes, I finally started my clinical years! For a year, I will be a “secondary”. With each patient visit, there are usually two student clinicians and an overseeing doctor. The two clinicians each have a primary or secondary role. During your first year in clinic, you usually get the secondary role except on our physical medicine shifts. On my first day of clinic during my physical medicine shift, for my first patient, I was thrown into the primary role. It was nerve-racking. I also got to see my first HIV+ patient last week, which turned out to be a great experience.
Syrahav’s personality is continuing to flower. She is easy going, loves to have fun, outgoing, and absolutely loves people. She is not shy. During the past two weeks for my clinic shifts as well as a preceptorship I am doing (I didn’t mention the preceptorship until now), my babysitter has been in California. I had to find 2 weeks worth of back-up childcare. It was hard, but it worked out well! Everyone who watched Syrahav said she was an angel and never fussed once. Wow, how did I have a kid like this? (I had some behavior problems as a child.)
I often speculate as to why Syrahav’s temperament is the way it is. I think it is a combination of nature and nurture. For one thing, I feel as though Jake and I were able to adequately nourish her during her first year of life. We slowed down. We stopped a lot of things. We made space for her and did not juggle her from provider to provider. I think that taking a year off from school made a permanent mark on her life. Because of this, I feel biased towards taking time off during the first year of life for any future children. I also think a child’s behavior can reflect their emotional health, although I know this is not black and white. Its so healing to me to watch Syrahav be loved so fully by her Papa, and to see her flourish from being in a loving environment. I think Syrahav is a product of all the healing I’ve received, a growing flower that will continue to bloom through generations and will never be extinguished.
We have a really, really, really busy summer coming up. Two clinic shifts, a preceptorship, and 12 credits. Whew. A part of me is not looking forward to this. Things will slow down in the fall. I pray that God protects Syrahav during this time and that we continue to be intentional as a family in spending quality time with each other.
Before I returned to school full-time in the spring, we were coming out of a couple months of severe sleep deprivation due to Syrahav’s horrible, excruciatingly painful teething process. Then the spring quarter started and I never got much rest. Since the spring quarter, I’ve found my body overwhelmingly exhausted. My adrenal glands are fatigued. Its been getting harder and harder to push myself, and I can no longer function on less than 7 hours of sleep. My body just can’t do it. Intense emotions can also be very taxing on your adrenal glands, and my adrenal glands have taken a toll over the years from all of the trauma I’ve experienced. Even processing all the emotions involved with past traumas can be taxing on the adrenals (I’ve actually been diagnosed with PTSD). So emotions, baby, life, teething, school, everything has taken a huge hit on my adrenals. This has shown up in my hypothyroidism (burnt out adrenals can lead to hypothyroidism). Because of my health, we are ok with slowing down. My body needs it. Pray for me in this.
In the midst of the exhaustion, I can’t help but smile at how good life is. How much God loves me. How much Syrahav makes me laugh. God has given so much. More than I ever imagined. I never imagined my life being this good.
Below is a picture of Syrahav and I at Gasworks Park. She’s out of focus (and I’m in focus). Too bad because she’s making such a cute face!
Gasworks Park in June.
July 9th, 2010 | Comments (1)
